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Go there.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
An Open Letter to the Bird Outside My Window
Shut up.
5:30 does not qualify as morning.
You're the reason I'll never be able to be a vegetarian.
5:30 does not qualify as morning.
You're the reason I'll never be able to be a vegetarian.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Epiphany over Corn Flakes
Just now, I was thinking about how Jesus' essential message was love, unconditionally. Despite the clarity of the word, you wouldn't be hard pressed to find a gay hating Christian. In fact Christianity seems to have a history of hate.
Obviously, the gods have a taste for irony.
Obviously, the gods have a taste for irony.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Phases of love as I've come to understand them, so far.
Phase One: Atopy
An allergic hypersensitivity affecting parts of the body after coming into contact or being in close proximity with the allergen. Most often the stomach will churn and the throat will dry up. Additionally the brain will operate less efficiently causing stuttering and a general stupidity in conversation.
Phase Two: Aversion Therapy
A series of mildly uncomfortable encounters in which you'll either become immune to the allergen or proceed to Phase Three.
Phase Three: "Love".
In films, the moment "love" first presents itself occurs just before the plot tips into the denouement, or possibly the credit roll. Characters most often make this discovery as their plane begins to screech along the runway towards Paris, or as their bus careens out of control. In real life, peril usually does not play a part in this discovery, although it can often occur as quickly. "Love" is discovered on coffee cups when you see a potential lover's lipstick makes form a perfect heart over the rim. It's tangled in their hair as they attempt to cling to the last moments before morning. It's found simultaneously with discovery of the meaning to love songs you've always found cheesy and redundant.
Phase Four: Panic.
Phase Five: Breakfast.
Scrambled eggs and coffee. Possibly some kind of fruit.
It should be noted that I believe there is more to this, and I'm currently conducting the necessary research.
An allergic hypersensitivity affecting parts of the body after coming into contact or being in close proximity with the allergen. Most often the stomach will churn and the throat will dry up. Additionally the brain will operate less efficiently causing stuttering and a general stupidity in conversation.
Phase Two: Aversion Therapy
A series of mildly uncomfortable encounters in which you'll either become immune to the allergen or proceed to Phase Three.
Phase Three: "Love".
In films, the moment "love" first presents itself occurs just before the plot tips into the denouement, or possibly the credit roll. Characters most often make this discovery as their plane begins to screech along the runway towards Paris, or as their bus careens out of control. In real life, peril usually does not play a part in this discovery, although it can often occur as quickly. "Love" is discovered on coffee cups when you see a potential lover's lipstick makes form a perfect heart over the rim. It's tangled in their hair as they attempt to cling to the last moments before morning. It's found simultaneously with discovery of the meaning to love songs you've always found cheesy and redundant.
Phase Four: Panic.
Phase Five: Breakfast.
Scrambled eggs and coffee. Possibly some kind of fruit.
It should be noted that I believe there is more to this, and I'm currently conducting the necessary research.
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